Learning As I Go...
Today I made a UUUGE mistake.
I've become increasingly comfortable talking about my gift. To my surprise, the majority of people's reactions have been positive and supportive. While I appreciate that support more than anything, I am subconsciously becoming less-cautious about how I approach the topic. My walls are coming down - and with the right people, that can be a good thing! Pediatricians do not apply to this group of people.
I went for my med-check today, which is just an appointment to discuss my anxiety medication. She asked me the basic questions, revolving around diet, sleep, exercise, etc...some way or another, I mentioned how I practice meditation every night. One question led to the next, and somehow I ended up telling her I'm a psychic medium, and how a lot of it has been triggered by my dealing with anxiety. Prior to the visit, I was debating whether or not I should say something about it. I was unsure if it was the right decision to make, but the word vomit spoke for itself.
She did not take it well. The information was misinterpreted. She thinks that the medication itself has been causing me to hallucinate, or sense things that I should not be sensing. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't like that at all, and that the reason why I'm able to now pick up on these things is because I am literally the most mentally stable I have ever been in my entire life. She doesn't understand.
She may take my anxiety medication away. I'm going to do everything in my power to get her to understand that the medication is not something that is causing any issues for me, it's simply a tool that has helped me develop into the person I am. My guilty-conscious proved it's intensity today. I was SO mad at myself. It's times like these that I go into a deep depression and get really emo.
BUT!!! I'm really trying to work on myself in this particular area, so I took some time today to recover from that mini disaster. I relaxed, went on a walk with my dog, lit some candles, and went to a yoga class. Also ate an entire box of Annie's mac and cheese - it happens. I feel so much better already. I know with certainty that I handled this situation so much better than I would have a few months ago. I was so ashamed of myself for making such a stupid mistake that I almost couldn't even tell my friends. But I did. And now I'm posting it publicly online. That is called courage my friends.
The point is, with the good comes the bad. I've been gaining SO much positive feedback lately from everyone around me, and I am forever grateful. However, there is a line that must be drawn. Unfortunately, we often discover our limits through bad experiences, testing the extent of our capabilities. It's important not to focus on whether or not we passed or failed that test, we can fix on that in the future. But what matters for now is that we decide to keep going. It's wicked cliché, I know, but it is true. Take a shitty situation, analyze what it taught you, take that newfound knowledge, and move the hell on. It's one of the easiest yet most difficult things for us humans to do, but once you do it you'll feel unstoppable.
I've become increasingly comfortable talking about my gift. To my surprise, the majority of people's reactions have been positive and supportive. While I appreciate that support more than anything, I am subconsciously becoming less-cautious about how I approach the topic. My walls are coming down - and with the right people, that can be a good thing! Pediatricians do not apply to this group of people.
I went for my med-check today, which is just an appointment to discuss my anxiety medication. She asked me the basic questions, revolving around diet, sleep, exercise, etc...some way or another, I mentioned how I practice meditation every night. One question led to the next, and somehow I ended up telling her I'm a psychic medium, and how a lot of it has been triggered by my dealing with anxiety. Prior to the visit, I was debating whether or not I should say something about it. I was unsure if it was the right decision to make, but the word vomit spoke for itself.She did not take it well. The information was misinterpreted. She thinks that the medication itself has been causing me to hallucinate, or sense things that I should not be sensing. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't like that at all, and that the reason why I'm able to now pick up on these things is because I am literally the most mentally stable I have ever been in my entire life. She doesn't understand.
She may take my anxiety medication away. I'm going to do everything in my power to get her to understand that the medication is not something that is causing any issues for me, it's simply a tool that has helped me develop into the person I am. My guilty-conscious proved it's intensity today. I was SO mad at myself. It's times like these that I go into a deep depression and get really emo.
BUT!!! I'm really trying to work on myself in this particular area, so I took some time today to recover from that mini disaster. I relaxed, went on a walk with my dog, lit some candles, and went to a yoga class. Also ate an entire box of Annie's mac and cheese - it happens. I feel so much better already. I know with certainty that I handled this situation so much better than I would have a few months ago. I was so ashamed of myself for making such a stupid mistake that I almost couldn't even tell my friends. But I did. And now I'm posting it publicly online. That is called courage my friends.
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